Common Obstacles to Being a Step Parent
Being a step parent can be really hard work. There are no concrete rules that you can use because every child is different. What works for some situations may not be any good in other scenarios. Most of the lectures go out the window when reality comes into play. Much of how you handle situations simply comes with experience. There are some things, however, that are just a given. You need to know about the following problems and how to avoid them when possible.
The Cold Shoulder
Don’t expect your step children to warm up to you just because their mother or father does. Winning them over is a whole new ball game. You are not going to enter their lives and be accepted by way of the parent. There is still a lot of bonding that must be done. Lots of step children don’t even want to get to know their step parents. The cold shoulder can be one of the most frustrating parts of being a step parent. It’s one of those things that you really have to prepare for. Resist the urge to simply buy them things. Try communicating with them instead.
Disciplining Your Step Child
This is a rough thing that you should realistically discuss with your significant other. Don’t let the relationship go too far without discussing this matter. The two of you may have some totally different methods in relation to discipline. You may need to be able to reach a compromise. Whatever the case may be, there needs to be some communication on this. Parents that are not in sync will be played against each other. No step parent wants to be the bad cop in the role of authority. Both parents need to be on the same page and realistically both need to be able to carry out discipline.
Chores and Allowances
Take time to get things like chores and allowances in order. It’s hard to have any real discipline without setting some rules in place. There should be some chores like taking out the trash, washing dishes and cutting grass. Giving chores may get the kids to resent you even more, but allowances will balance things out. This presents an opportunity for step kids and their step parents to communicate. Step parents should use this and any other chance they get to communicate with the kids.
Blended families take time to come together. It’s not an instant overnight success. It takes work.