No two children are exactly alike and due to their personality, age differences, and the relationships they have with each parent divorce will have different affects on them. As difficult at it may be, letting your children know what’s around the corner due to the divorce is very important.
During and after divorce it is important to eliminate as much anxiety for them as possible. They are going to have their good days and bad and by keeping the lines of communication open they will feel safe to come to you for support and to share their feelings. Even if things seem to be okay you should take some quiet time to talk with your children to see how they are coping with the changes.
It is important to understand that children who are victims of divorce may need outside support. They don’t always feel safe or have the desire to confide in their parents. They may have mixed feelings about what is going on or be angry. Many turn to talking to their peers whom have gone through divorce. They may also confide in other adults such as a school counselor or family member.
If your children do confide in someone else, don’t take it personal, instead be relieved that they are reaching out and getting help. Divorce is very difficult and counseling is an effective tool for managing what they are going through.
Children need a great deal of support when a divorce is taking place. Surround them with resources to choose from and talk to them about additional help they may need. If they don’t have someone to talk to or they aren’t ready to open up to you then see if they are interested in seeing a professional counselor. The point is to give them an outlet to deal with what is going on in their life at this time. If you have more than one child it is likely that they will have different needs so stay in tune to the. It is important to remember that they will need this support long after the divorce has concluded. Just like with divorcing parents, their feelings don’t get turned off when the divorce is finalized.