The Greatest Danger to Our Children: Nearly 4 out of every 10 children are being raised without their fathers.
For decades women have been winning the battle when it comes to child custody. Not only is this heartbreaking to dads everywhere but it is also unfortunate for our children. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that mothers are bad parents, however should our children’s fate simply be determined because of the sex of the parent?
There are all sorts of information on the web that tries to instill fear into men when it comes to fighting for custody of their children. Threats from their spouse of child abuse or domestic violence, the problem is – this does happen and whether it is true or not the father ends up trying to convince everyone of his innocence. But the problem with this is the assumption that the majority of women out there would say such terrible things about their husbands just so they win in court. I really have a hard time believing this to be the rule rather than the exception.
Divorce is a sticky situation and typically all hell is breaking loose and neither parent wants to lose visitation with their kids and if common ground can’t be found then things will really get bad. So who should get custody of the children after divorce?
Children go through stages, sometimes they will bond with mom and at different times with dad. When looking at where the child should live there are many considerations. In this instance we are talking about physical custody of the child, who the child will live with primarily. Again there are several factors to look at but as for whether mom would make a better parent over dad based on sex is a hard pill to swallow and vise versa.
Children love both their parents, usually unconditionally for years and years. Children need parents that are emotionally available to them that can provide a stable, loving, and safe environment. I believe that a father can raise his child just as good as a mom. Consider this, those of you that disagree, studies show that children need their fathers; fatherless children are three times more likely to fail school, require psychiatric treatment and commit suicide as adolescents. Of course there are many reasons why a father may not be present in their kids lives but no parent should give up that right.
Here is the gist of things… A survey conducted by Phillips and Comanor concluded:
The absence of either parent has a significant effect on the kids having one kind of pathology or another, but the absence of a father tends to have a more significant effect, and it seems to more seriously affect the sons.”
Children need both parents, there are instances where this just isn’t going to happen but as parents we need to be able to put our children first and if you can’t save the marriage you need to do what it takes so both parents can be active in your child’s lives. Two healthy people with out drug problems or emotional problems should be able to accomplish this, the ones with these problems should not have the primary custody.
Take an honest logical approach when it comes to determining your child’s future. Love, nurture, routine, discipline, safety, stability, healthy environment, financial, and education are all considerations.