Category Archives: Single Parent Dating

Divorced Parents Dating with Children

Parenting is difficult enough without the added stress of trying to date at the same time. Children, no matter their age, are sensitive in the wake of a divorce and divorced parents dating with children face even more difficulties than those not yet dating. The biggest problem with divorced parents dating with children is the reaction of the child when he learns you are dating. It is impossible to know how your child will react to the news, which makes it even more difficult to break the news to him. Additionally, you will eventually need to break the news to your ex.

Small children will not understand the concept of dating so it is not necessary to say anything more than you were enjoying time with a friend when your young children ask about what you did last night or where you were. It is imperative you give older children the opportunity to talk to you about their feelings regarding your dating. However, you should not expect them to be okay with it at first; some children need time to adjust to the idea of their parent dating.

Telling your ex that you are dating is not necessary; it is none of your exes business what you do in your personal life so long as it does not affect your children. You will, however, need to inform your ex that you are dating when you make the decision to introduce your children to the person that you are seeing because it is a common courtesy. You would undoubtedly want to know if your ex was exposing your children to someone new, after all.

Introducing your children to the person you are dating should only be done once you have gotten to know the other person and your relationship becomes serious. Divorce is difficult and becoming attached to a person you are not serious about having a relationship with causes unnecessary hurt to your children.

Lastly, it is important that you listen to your child’s feelings about your new partner to ensure that any dislike does not stem from inappropriate behavior.

Preparing for Remarriage after Divorce

Nearly two thirds of divorced individuals will tie the knot for a second time but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are ready. Many second and third marriages fail because people haven’t taken the time to prepare themselves for another relationship, let alone marriage.

Divorce is extremely difficult and hurt feelings, loneliness and envy can drive people to get into a relationship before they are ready, setting the foundation for failure. Relationships take work and it is up to both parties to ensure that it is successful. Before you enter into a new relationship you need to take the time to heal from the past wounds. This requires time and the ability to take a self-inventory. Make a list of behaviors, beliefs and insecurities that keep you from having a long-term relationship and work on them. Entering a new relationship before getting over your previous marriage is a recipe for disaster. Chances are you will bring many of the same issues, expectations and false beliefs with you that will end up poisoning your new relationship. Take the time to get over your previous relationship before starting a new one. We all have issues; even though we will never be perfect there is no reason we can’t be better.

Be realistic when it comes to relationships, they take work. Learn the necessary skills to have a healthy, long-term relationship. Polish up on your dating communication skills, listening skills and conflict resolution. A lot of relationships fail because people don’t understand what healthy communication looks like. They grew up thinking yelling back and forth was what people do when in reality you can have a disagreement or be mad without losing control.

Having a positive self-esteem, loving who you are, faults and all are important before starting a new relationship. When you eventually do find that person who you want to spend the rest of your life with you don’t want a bunch of negativity, victim mentality, insecurities, co-dependence and immature behavior to destroy your chances of a long-term relationship.

Not only do you want to take time in getting to know yourself but you will want to take things slow with your potential new partner. Really get to know them, understand what makes them tick. Discuss the difficult issues such as; money, parenting, religion, family relationships, spousal roles and long-term goals.

Understand that love is not a feeling it is an action; when you love someone you work hard to show them your love by speaking their love language. When both parties take this approach both will feel loved and appreciated.

Preparing for remarriage after divorce does take time and work but it is well worth the effort if you never have to go through a divorce again.

Secrets to Successful First Dates

We’ve all been there. Those dates that seem so promising and then suddenly you realize that you’re not going to get a second one. It’s tough enough even setting up the first date to begin with. You don’t want all that effort wasted because you tried too hard or said the wrong thing.

The problem is that it’s so hard to figure out where you went wrong. Was it the clothes? Too much cologne? Too many questions? There are a ton of ways to screw up a first date. Believe me – I’m guilty of making just about every first date mistake there is to make. And that’s why I want to share with you the things I’ve learned.

Stay Cool

The best thing you can do to help your first date go smoothly is just to relax. Of course you’re both nervous, but is she showing it? Right, then neither should you. It’s totally natural to get excited about a first date, and to be nervous for sure. But if that’s all that you show, you’re not going to be giving her any way to get to know you.

But Not Too Cool

You do want to seem interested in your date, though. Staying cool doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seem to be engaged in the conversation. Make eye contact and ask polite and appropriate questions. In short – act like a man because that’s what she wants you to be.

Stay in the Present

One really easy way to scare a woman off is by getting ahead of yourself and hinting at marriage or kids. No good will ever come of talking about these subjects on the first date, so steer clear. Similarly, you don’t want to seem too caught up in the past either. A quick anecdote from high school or college is fine here and there.
But if that’s all you’re finding to contribute to the conversation, you’ll be giving the distinct impression that you’re only interested in reliving those glory days. In short, you’ll look like you never grew up and have no life, and it’s not too hard to see why that’s a huge turn off.

Go Someplace Cozy

You don’t have to be too over the top romantic, but your first date should definitely be in a place where you can talk. Stay away from noisy restaurants with lots of distractions. Nothing will make your first date turn awkward in a hurry like not being able to talk to each other because of noise. It can be hard enough to keep the conversation moving along without having to overcome your environment too.

What to Never Say to a Woman You Just Met

Meeting women is hard – no doubt about that. So once you meet them, you don’t want to send them running for the hills as soon as you open your mouth. Navigating those first few conversations and interactions can be tough, and there are no end of opportunities for you to put your foot in your mouth.

So how do you know what to say to a woman you just met? Mostly you want to seem interested in her and mature enough for a relationship (whether that’s what you’re looking for or not). Sounds simple enough, right? But we all know it’s not that easy.

That’s because the real challenge when you’re trying to get to know a woman can be figuring out what not to say. Women want so many contradictory things from a man that it’s pretty much guaranteed you’ll make a mistake (at least from her point of view), but there are certain mistakes that will cut you off at the knees before you even get in the door. To try and help you keep the conversation going, here are a couple of things you should never say to a woman you just met.

Kids and Marriage

This is a topic to steer clear of at all costs. It may very well be what she’s looking for, but any guy who blurts out that he wants to marry a woman and have ten kids is going to get shot down real fast. There’s really no good way to talk about this early on in a relationship so it’s best just to stay away from it completely.

Nothing Serious

Whether you want a serious relationship or not, don’t ever let on that you’ve never been in one. If a woman thinks you’re not relationship material, you’ll be out with the trash before you know what hit you.

Mommy Dearest

Moms, both yours and hers, can be crazy subjects to try and navigate. The very last thing you ever want to do is compare her to her mother. Those mother-daughter relationships are pretty intense and so complicated that you’ll never find your way out of that one.

Also, you might think that talking about your mom makes you seem sensitive, but it really will probably just make you look like a mama’s boy, and that’s not gonna get you many second dates. After all, no woman wants to think she’ll be competing with your mommy for your affections.

Dating Communication

Healthy communication isn’t everyone’s strong suit, especially after a rough marriage which ends in divorce. But eventually the pain goes away, wounds heal, self-improvements are made and it is time to get back into the dating game.

Communication is a major part of our lives, we are doing it almost constantly either verbally or non-verbally with everyone around us. Often times we might not be sending the message we intend – we often communicate with ourselves but if we are witnessed doing so we might get a few odd looks and threatened with a straight jacket. Nevertheless, dating communication skills are worth refining and the better you get the better your relationships will be with others.

The thought of dating can make a person fidgety, jumble their words and even appear closed off. Nerves have a way of getting in the way of good intentions and a fun time. So let’s give the nerves a break and put the butterflies to rest by polishing up on positive dating communication skills.

Learning communication requires two or more people so you will need to practice – an online dating experience can help you have 15 coffee dates in a month and communicate away, learning and improving as you go.

6 Dating Communication Essentials

  1. There are a lot of first impressions in dating and you should always plan on looking your best, even if you are just practicing your dating communication skills. Taking the time to properly dress and groom shows that you care about yourself and that you are serious.
  2. Good eye contact is important and it communicates to others that you have confidence in yourself, an attractive feature for both men and women. I was watching the movie Fair Game (a true story) with Sean Penn playing Joe Wilson and there was a part where he met with a group of men and as he entered the room he greeted each individual with his full name, a firm handshake and made eye contact. Of course the movie itself was good but this part stuck out at me because it screams self-confidence.
  3. Pay attention and listen to the person you are with. After having a child I have learned that my attention span may not be as good as it used to be. I tend to block things out, ooops. When you pay attention you learn what is important to others and it helps to keep the conversation going. In essence, listen with your whole body; face them, make eye contact and ask an occasional open ended question.
  4. Tone of voice is also very important when communicating and it is important to listen to ourselves. Having the wrong tone can send the wrong message.
  5. Body language is our non-verbal form of communication and research suggests that 60 to 70 percent of all meaning is derived from non-verbal communication. A person’s body language provides clues as to the state of mind or attitude of a person. Watch and learn…
  6. Speak non-judgmentally, not in terms of how good or bad something is but how you personally feel about it. Don’t argue or put down another person’s opinion and most of all remember that you “ain’t” perfect.