Is it Possible to be to Helpful?

As parents we don’t want to see our kids make mistakes or get hurt but could it be that if we are too helpful and too involved in what our kids are doing that we are holding them back and keeping them from reaching their full potential?

As children grow and experience new things it is natural for us to want to reach out and help. Sometimes that is absolutely necessary and yet there are times when we should sit back and see what happens. As they do things on their own they are building confidence and self-esteem, they also have the security of knowing that you are there for them if needed.

School aged children are going to express their independence more and more. Even at this young age they need their space and privacy. They also need to learn to do things on their own. In our eagerness to help our children succeed we are tempted to jump in and solve their problems for them or we want to correct the way they are doing something because it isn’t how we would do it.

When my daughter was 5 years old we went miniature golfing, it was around the 6th hole that I realized that I was really being a drag. “You’re not holding the club right.” “Don’t hit the ball that way.” “Pay attention!” The reality was she was doing just fine without my involvement, however, she wasn’t playing like the pros and not how I would of. I had to step back from the situation and simply let her play and have fun. We can do this in many different aspects of our children’s lives and as parents we need to learn to back off and let them learn, have fun, and taste success and failure on their own.

Children are much better off with words of praise and encouragement when they are doing things on their own. During the same time make sure your children know that they can come to you for help. Your children are learning and one of the best teachers is life and doing things for themselves.