Many marriages have ended because of the lack of communication between partners. Divorce does not solve this problem, especially if there are children involved. In fact, it can make it worse because of the resentment and anger associated with divorce.
Children are often caught in the middle because of the poor communication between parents and they suffer for it. Young children will tend to love each parent unconditionally and won’t see the faults that you do. If you bad mouth the other parent or disrespect them in front of your children it will hurt them.
Some parents are so hurt and angry from the divorce that they try to get back at the other by keeping their children from them. This is a no win situation for everyone. Your child will be happier while with you if they get to see the other parent otherwise they are depressed and sad which will lead to them acting out. Unless you have a sound reason (safety issue) your children should not see the other parent you should never keep them from seeing each other.
You don’t want your child to be caught in the middle after divorce. They will be having a hard enough time as it is with the change and not having the family unit together. They don’t need to be used a pawn to hurt each other. The marriage has already been ruined because of selfish behavior; there is no need to continue.
The best thing that you can do for your children after divorce is to heal and promote a healthy positive outlook. Don’t squabble over irrelevant stuff, especially in front of the children. Learn to heal and forgive, not only your ex but yourself. Teach your child that you can work things out even if you are no longer a family and you want them to be part of each parent’s life. Make sure you always stop to consider how your actions are going to affect your children before you engage in them.
If you are having a hard time getting through to your ex or they are an uncooperative you should check out the Co-parenting Nightmare Resource.