Nearly two thirds of divorced individuals will tie the knot for a second time but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are ready. Many second and third marriages fail because people haven’t taken the time to prepare themselves for another relationship, let alone marriage.
Divorce is extremely difficult and hurt feelings, loneliness and envy can drive people to get into a relationship before they are ready, setting the foundation for failure. Relationships take work and it is up to both parties to ensure that it is successful. Before you enter into a new relationship you need to take the time to heal from the past wounds. This requires time and the ability to take a self-inventory. Make a list of behaviors, beliefs and insecurities that keep you from having a long-term relationship and work on them. Entering a new relationship before getting over your previous marriage is a recipe for disaster. Chances are you will bring many of the same issues, expectations and false beliefs with you that will end up poisoning your new relationship. Take the time to get over your previous relationship before starting a new one. We all have issues; even though we will never be perfect there is no reason we can’t be better.
Be realistic when it comes to relationships, they take work. Learn the necessary skills to have a healthy, long-term relationship. Polish up on your dating communication skills, listening skills and conflict resolution. A lot of relationships fail because people don’t understand what healthy communication looks like. They grew up thinking yelling back and forth was what people do when in reality you can have a disagreement or be mad without losing control.
Having a positive self-esteem, loving who you are, faults and all are important before starting a new relationship. When you eventually do find that person who you want to spend the rest of your life with you don’t want a bunch of negativity, victim mentality, insecurities, co-dependence and immature behavior to destroy your chances of a long-term relationship.
Not only do you want to take time in getting to know yourself but you will want to take things slow with your potential new partner. Really get to know them, understand what makes them tick. Discuss the difficult issues such as; money, parenting, religion, family relationships, spousal roles and long-term goals.
Understand that love is not a feeling it is an action; when you love someone you work hard to show them your love by speaking their love language. When both parties take this approach both will feel loved and appreciated.
Preparing for remarriage after divorce does take time and work but it is well worth the effort if you never have to go through a divorce again.