Trying to stop temper tantrum behaviors can be one of the most stressful experiences for a parent. Without putting a stop to them, however, the child usually learns to use these terrible outbursts to get attention, to rebel, to try to exert control and power, or for numerous other reasons. So parents need to come to grips with the phenomenon of tantrums before they become held hostage to them – which only adds more stress and strain to the situation.
But in order to stop temper tantrum outbursts it is important to first understand that most tantrums are not triggered by just one single event or episode. What is generally more typical is that the child who throws a tantrum does so after a long accumulation of frustrations. These remain pent-up inside until eventually the child lets loose and expresses it in an uncontrollable fashion. So rather than trying to trace the tantrum to something that just happened, it is often more effective to just realize that the tantrum is the tip of the iceberg or a symptom of frustration and feelings that have been building up for some time.
Here are some ways to minimize that build-up, and therefore help to stop the tantrums from happening:
Make sure children have enough rest, are well fed and not hungry, and did not accidentally skip their nap because many tantrums result from those simple things.
At the first signs that the child is getting irritable, consider what to do to make the child feel better. That may nip the tantrum in the bud before it has a chance to escalate.
Minimize stressful environments, because when kids are exposed to too much stress they can become overwhelmed – just like grown-ups do.
Be attentive, let the child know you are there for them, and make sure they know that you are listening to their concerns. Sometimes if a child feels ignored he or she will throw a tantrum as a last resort to get heard.
Once the parent succeeds with changing the toddler’s behavior or effectively controlling these emotional triggers to stop temper tantrums, both the parent and the child feel better. But don’t wait until it is too late to implement these suggestions, because to stop tantrums the source of the tantrums has to be addressed in advance, and on a day to day basis.
Chore charts or sometimes called behavioral modification charts, I prefer chore charts, can be a great way to get your kids to participate around the home or improve their current behavior. These charts may sound very different, however, the anticipated results are the same. For example; I used to have a difficult time with my daughter staying in bed all night. Ninety percent of the time she ended up in mine that is until I created a chore chart for her. On this chart were things such as brushing her teeth, sleeping in her bed, picking up her toys, and feeding the cat.
These were all things that at her age, five years old, were very doable. Matter of fact she was very excited because with each accomplishment she would get a sticker on her chart and if the weekly results were good she would also get a special treat such as a new toy or an extra popsicle for dessert. I even give her an allowance of $.50 per week for her to put in her piggy bank. Heck at five years old that looks like a lot of money especially if some of it is in pennies.
Chore charts can be used for children, and even adults, of all ages. For younger children it is important to remember that they aren’t perfect and can’t do complex tasks. They probably won’t remember to do each chore everyday but then again neither do I. Both you and your child will get great satisfaction out of completing the weekly tasks.
Young children love to help out around the home, in fact, you probably don’t have to put to much on their chore chart to get them to do so. Here is a list of some typical things that children in this age range can do.
Make their bed (don’t expect perfection)
Bring you their dirty laundry
Wash their body in the bath (you may need to make sure they are doing a decent job)
Pick up their toys and books
Help fold towels (they are great at this)
Put their clean clothes away
Brush their teeth (may require some supervision)
Help with cleaning such as dusting off tables
Feeding the cat or dog
Help with cooking (this is a great way to spend time together)
Putting away the dishes
Setting the table
Help putting groceries away
Sleep in their bed all night
Practice their writing, numbers, and ABCs
If you think that these tasks seem to be too much for toddlers you will be surprised. My five year old does all of these things and it is a blast. She is always there to lend a hand and when she gets a sticker on her chart for completing on of the above she smiles from ear to ear. Also when you do this you are building independence, teaching responsibility, and building their self-esteem.
I have created some simple chore charts for you to use, to get you started. I highly recommend spending some time with your kids making one together that is fun and silly. Makes for a great art project on a rainy day.
Children are a real blessing and it can be a blast showing them the ropes and watching them grow up. They seem to get more independent each year that goes by, even starting at a very young age. No matter how old our kids are they still need our love and parental advice. Here are some tips on parenting toddlers that will go along way in raising happy healthy kids.
Tips for Keeping Your Toddles Safe and Healthy
Kids need your full attention so set aside regular times you can be there for them. Great ways of giving your kids your full attention at this age is to read them a book, play with them, take a walk around the block, go to the park,and talk to them. Times like these will help build strong bonds of affection and trust between you and your kids.
Eating healthy foods is important for strong and healthy kids. We don’t always being the best role model in this area so take the time to adjust your eating habits to reflect eating foods that are good for you. Explain to your kids why eating healthy foods is important to their health. Have them name several good foods that they eat on a daily basis and explain to them how they will make them strong and healthy.
Talk to your kids about harmful substances that can be found in your home. This included medicines, household cleaners, etc. Keep them out of reach and tell them it isn’t okay for them to mess with these things and not to take any medicine unless you give it to them because it could hurt them.
Teach and model the kind of behavior you expect from your child. Help them to understand the basic rules of getting along with other children; sharing, playing fair, telling the truth, and treating others the way they want to be treated.
Turning a bad situation into successful one is a great way to build a child’s self-confidence. For example; your child is making a tower out of blocks and it keeps falling down. This is enough to make them cry and get frustrated but you can help by offering them a few suggestions that will keep the tower up, while at the same time asking them what they think will work and work on it together.
Practical decision making is key to successful life. I think at times we all may struggle with it but you can start teaching your kids how to do it when they are young by giving them options to choose from. Sine they are picking from a list of options that you already approve of they will be making good decisions so let them know that they did good.
In the early years it is tempting to give your child a haircut. I mean why not they won’t care if you mess it up right, and how hard could it be? Well, speaking from experience, giving a haircut is harder than it looks.
When my daughter was 2 I remember giving her a haircut for the first time, for her and me both. It wasn’t going to be anything to radical, so I thought; I was only going to trim up the bangs so they weren’t in her eyes.
Towards the end of her bath I did a comb, comb, comb and a snip, snip, snip and thought WOW what a good job, who says single parenting for dads is hard… To my surprise – after I dried munchkin off I was left gazing at what wasn’t such a good haircut. Since I cut her bangs while they were wet I ended up cutting way to much off leaving her without any bangs. Thank God she didn’t care and that it would grow back! Teachers at her daycare on the other hand weren’t quite as forgiving and it was recommended that I fork out $8 to get it done right next time.
I have learned my lesson and no longer cut my little girl’s hair. For many dads out there considering this I recommend not cutting it while it is wet and not to get carried away. It was still a great experience for me but remember that as they get older they will be less forgiving and when your teenagers see those pictures of many years ago they may never talk to you again.
This is the point where you wonder, “Where has the time gone.” At least one of the times you will think that. Your child is starting preschool in preparation for Kindergarten and it seems just like yesterday you were teaching them to walk. Now they are excited for school, excited to ride the big yellow bus, and being with other kids. Here are some helpful parenting tips to prepare them for the next step:
Continue to read to your child. Go to the public library to find new things to read and check out their kids programs like story time or puppet show.
Check for community programs offered by the city, they have art classes, dance classes, and much more for all ages.
Kids at this age can help with simple chores like feeding the pets, folding towels, and setting the table. Get them involved and put together a chore chart.
Encourage your child to play with other children, they can be shy too at times. This helps them to learn the value of friendship.
Talk to your child using adult sentences and correct their words and phrases along the way.
Be clear and consistent with the rules and disciplining your child. Model the type of behavior you expect from them.
Safety Tips for Preschoolers
Explain to your child why it is important to stay out of traffic and to not play or run into the street.
Even when riding their tricycle they will find ways to wreck so keep an eye on them. If teaching them to ride a bike, even with training wheels, make sure they have a good helmet.
Check outdoor playground equipment for loose parts or sharp objects. Also look for broken glass and other hazardous material that may harm your child.
Keep an eye on your child when they are outside playing.
Teach your child manners and how to interact with other people, especially safety concerns.
Teach them your phone number and an emergency number and explain to them what they mean and when to use them.
Toddlers are loads of fun and with that fun comes additional challenges. If you aren’t careful they will wear you out day after day. As they are exploring their world around them and getting into all sorts of things there are some positive parenting tips for toddlers to help them develop.
Positive Parenting for Toddlers
Read to your toddler daily.
Have them practice naming body parts and things around the home.
Play matching games with your toddler.
Encourage them to explore and try new things.
By talking with them they will develop their language skills.
Get outdoors by going for walks and to the park.
Encourage your child to pretend play or dress up.
Play other games such as follow the leader.
Teach them simple songs like Mary had a Little Lamb.
Have them repeat their name and age.
Safety Tips for Toddlers
Block off stairs so they can’t climb them and fall down and lock the doors of places that pose danger.
Place plug covers on unused electrical outlets.
Keep sharp objects out of reach.
Never leave your child alone in the car for any amount of time.
Keep medicines, household cleaners, and other poisons locked up or out of reach.
Check toys for loose parts that could pose a choking hazard.
Always supervise your child when near water.
Don’t drink hot liquids with your child on your lap.
Toddler proof your home by placing object out of reach that you don’t want them to touch.